Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Don't Cross the Streams ( MT. DEW content )

Mt. dew is obviously the piss of the gods. In every commercial for gnarly lifestyle drinks, the drink must be "slammed." This is where you hold the drink about a foot away from your mouth and just pour it into your mouth. If the can or bottle touches your lips, you are not extreme. The longer and more visible your soda stream, the more extreme you are, and the longer your dong is as well.

That being consecutive dews were slammed. Streams were as long as road maps to a new hell on earth where we bled caffeine. Once cameras were introduced, we got dew up our noses and looked like assholes.


No comments: